MY DEAR FAIRVIEW SUE !!!

I have a hard time understanding that people give a rats ass about my porn career... besides me and my exhibitionist tendencies.  I had the pleasure of meeting (though only briefly) Fairview Sue (http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com).  She is a quaint, pretty, oddly confident and present in her demeanour and behavior.  She quietly demands your attention when she wants it and I immediately recognized and was even intimidated by her stare and I didn't even know why!!

I was quickly handed a card and a brief introduction /(that, to be honest, I couldn't even hear because of my bas ears and my distraction of trying to find my seat for the GAYVN awards show that was about to start).  I took her card and was on my way (and I did find my seat in time... in case you were wondering).

The next day at the fair I got to cross paths with Sue again, and again, I was distracted by fans and friends and bosses wanting my attention for one thing or another.  With my borderline ADD I could barely keep up.  But something about her just stood out to me and I knew she was someone very powerful... within herself and her spirit.  A strong sense of self and easily identifiable by me because all my life i have not been.

So I goto sues page tonight and suddenly find reviews, images, references that include me and my w2ork, and it was so flattering to read positive reviews and support from a person that has a purely unbiased opinion and has nothing to gain, but simply genuinely feels a certain way and thought me worthy enough to make the effort to write about at all... let alone in a positive light. 

And so to her, I return the favor.  My blogging is not nearly as well constructed or thought out but it is from the heart  Until next time, Fairview Sue!

See Sue's collected Craig Reynolds commentary and photo archives at:
http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com/category/craig-reynolds/

Spot Of Trouble

First off, thank god mercury is out of retrograde! I just learned about this but apparently it happens several times a year and each time the little things become obstacles in you path when normally they would be of little concern.  So here I am at home, no bootcamp, no training, my first ever psoriasis breakout is preventing me from filming until it clears, not seeing clients and unemployment said starting my own business was not grounds for support by edd and overturned my UI.  huh, so this is an interesting moment of my life.  There was only a brief time in my life where i didn't have a backup plan and no finances to rely on... and it was not a pretty time.  This is new and yet similar.  I am not reacting the way I could be by such a dire situation, yet my entire life could be brought down by a single breakout of a genetic skin disease brought on by stress.  Considering I was voted most stressed in my high school class, it is curious that this is my first breakout.

Well, whatever caused the eruption of hideous red spots on me, they need to disappear or it is all over.  I could not have prepared for such a common yet unknown mis-programming of the skin cells would lead me to financial ruin?!?!  Doctors, friends and strangers have all offered their experiences, opinions and remedies that worked for them... but nothing has really taken to my skin.  It's so stupid but so intrusive.  It is embarrassing, people think you are diseased, grossed out by you, afraid to catch it.  Not contagious and the horror you experience is assuredly 10x worse in my head!!  It is enabling my depression to set back in, losing motivation to do anything, don't want to have sex, don't even want to be seen!  it is uncomfortable, hurts, itches, annoys, messes with your self-image.  it took a good 30 years to finally start believing in myself and just when I thought i might be okay with who i am, here comes a test of patience and helplessness I was not ready for.

I don't know what will happen next but my careers are suddenly on hold until this clears. seriously, WTF!!!!