So as I was reflecting back on what I had written on my blog regarding the porn industry and the politics they play, I realized that I sound a little bit like a whiny bitch... which is why I feel the need to go back and add context to the situation. First, I am not being pretentious or acting on a sense of entitlement here. I know that I am a dime a dozen model that will, sooner or later, be thrust to the curb without a second thought to make room for younger and prettier. I knew that coming into the business, I have accepted it and will bow out as gracefully as I can when it ends for me. Porn will be around long after I am. I am not better than anyone else... actually I don't think I am all that great compared to a number of pornstars!
My complaint comes on the basis (huh huh... I said cum on the bases) that I was nominated on my merits and those merits were /are not easy to maintain and evolve. I am one person with grand ideas and little influence. If I wasn't nominated, I would be bummed but I would understand that it's beyond my control. Where the issue lies is when there is complete disregard for the efforts I did put in and the acknowledgement I am receiving from this part of the industry (Thank you guys SO MUCH for the nomination... I was so ecstatic for weeks because of it!!!), but the journalists and media who essentially control who becomes a star, successful, or failure, blew me off suggesting I wasn't worth even a mention. At least "Craig who?" would be acknowledging... Craig, we don't know you so it's a little early for you to be getting an award but at least we will call it out to let you know we now see you exist