Status Update

so you know those characters in movies who sacrifice themselves to save the others and seem like they have had experiences in their lives that allow them to be more at peace with dying than the others... but you are never clued in as to why?  Well I think I get it now... once you have lost the love of your life or someone intimately woven into your heart and core, you're never quite the same, you're  never the same person and death welcomes those people back into your world.  I lost that person 3 times in the past 2 years. The impact these past 2 years have made losing so many loved ones from my life has left me crippled and broken.  To answer your questions... I am not okay, although I try to act as if I am. I don't know if I ever can be.   Ron, my grandmother, trevor... I will never see again.  david will never speak to me again and matt moved across the country. seriously, wtf just happened?  where did these past 2 years come from?  Who did i piss off to give me this as my path through life?  This is just a ridiculously awful hand I have been given to play and I can't fold and be dealt a new hand... somehow I have to bluff my way through with a shitty hand in order to win the pot.  The odds are stacked against me and not sure how to play my hand. Therapists would say I should be fulfilled internally and others should just add to your life... but that is bullsh**. we all seek out5 that special someone to share our lives with.  I have been burned 3 times... partially my own doing and partially out of my control... but ultimately my time was cut short with each person and I have been left to amputate those lifelines to stop the bleeding but now I feel all lifelines severed and no more life running back into me. Anyway, i am good.  how are you doing?

Milwaukee RULES!!

Milwaukee RULES!!

I have made a new cast of friends out in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  First off, the accents are real!  It is so cute listening to these hot midwestern guys talk with an accent that softens any rough exterior they might be sporting.  Second, everyone was so nice and fun and welcoming and casual... no attitude or social ladder pre-established that must be climbed in order to be welcomed.  Granted, I am an outsider there for one night so the politics may have escaped me but from the disastrous past few months compared to the event at BOOM last night, it was a welcomed change and escape from a challenging daily existence back home in SF.

David, the owner and sexy fucker who tended to my every need... well, except for one, was a total sweetheart, put me up at The Hilton hotel even though I was in town until 8am, drove me to and from the airport and really put me at ease from beginning to end.  Likewise, the crowd and the staff at BOOM were so friendly and welcoming and funny... I actually enjoyed myself and didn't go anxiety-cazy and run away crying!  I couldn't believe it!  It has been a while since I travelled anywhere solo and even longer since I didn't have some sort of mini-anxiety-related-crisis!  Though I have to return home to a bag full of problems, this one night in Milwaukee helped refuel my depleted energy cells.

Okay, here is the gossip (this is all in fun in hopes that a few of the guys read this and get a kick out of me remembering way more than you probably wish I had).  Brad the bartender is a sexy school teacher (think roleplay fantasy, think Van Halen "i'm hot for teacher") but he has crabs and gonnhorhea so he needs to tend to that before I can slut it up and hit on that (he really doesn't... at least not that I know but he is a good sport and I do know he wanted to get me from the airport instead of David and threatened physical harm to get it).  Mike the cop is such the cocky cop attitude fucker who will turn from police pig to sex pig in 0.3 seconds!  oink!  Lance was the queit bartender... to quiet... nobody had gossip on him which means he is probably the most twisted one of all!  Brad the patron is so funny... all night he kept coming by when I was engaged in 'social activity' with the patrons and said to come see him.  He got fed up that I couldn't escape the adoration of the majority and ended up putting his finger up my butt and then getting caught by me and looking like he didn't know how he got there... ROFL!  that was some funny ass stuff and i adore him for it!  There was one gentleman, firgive me for forgetting your name, whose cock is apparently so impressive and so talented that it will actually bite you and can be found on XTube.  Tim, who also picked me up from the airport, accused me of having an accent... and I accused him of having a slur after 14 beers.  That in itself is quite an impressive feat and he is hot so it just made the situation that much mmore fun to tease him.  There was William and Kyle who drove for a couple hours just to see me!!! There were birthday boys, shy boys hiding in corners, up-and-coming pornstars and strippers that I had to educate were well on their way with their sexy moves and erotic,enticing, rhythmic dancing meant for the top of the best gay bars in the world!  I was spanked, fingered, kissed, sucked, teased, tipped, groped and hugged... best of all was the abundant attention given to my nipples and the major hardons that ensued!  You guys are the best!  Thank you so much for making me feel so welcome!

I hope to return and I hope to see the same smiling faces.  I was a bit hurt that the reputable "biter" didn't bite me or leave his mark... and my flexibility is for shit when trying to get down from the bar to greet the patrons, I felt like an old man trying to sit on the pot from the support of his walker.  Otherwise, I have never felt good standing on a bar at any club or bar until now.  I wasn't embarrassed by my sporiasis, I felt wanted and appreciated, I felt the things I have not felt for myself in a while.  So for these prior strangers (now friends) to help fill in the gaps like that, whether conscious of it or not, was really special.

Headed To Milwaukee

Got an appearance to make tomorrow night, which I am excited about... however I was in a car accident last night and my back hurts, my accounts were closed because I deposited what turned out to be a fraudulent check to pay for furniture I was selling, and still reeling from my best friend's sudden and unexpected passing.  Let's nto forget psoriasis is still present and depression has been tough to avoid.  I tell ya, I am going to give my best face but the circumstances coming into this have been the worst of my life in such a short amount of time.  I hope to start reporting more uplifting news soon... I haven't had much to report to you as of late.

Best Friend

A couple days ago I lost my best friend in the world.  He meant more to me than a friend, he was my rock, my love and my hero.  I was blessed to have him in my life.  He arrived in time to help me through the toughest time of my life... and now he has been taken away and inadvertently created a new worst time in my life.  He meant the world to me and I am so empty without him.  You would have loved him.  Heart of gold.  Funny, sweet, smart, sexy, hot body, great butt and dick, he would love that I said that, and the person in my life I could always rely on, no matter what the problem was.  He was suddenly ripped from my life and nobody really understands why.  He is still watching over my shoulder and I am sure sounding as the voice of reason in my ear for the rest of my life until that day when it is my time to pass and he will be there to take my hand and we can walk together, side by side, into the bright white light. Until then, however, it will be painful to endure the thought that I won't ever get to see his charming smile or sultry and sexy voice ever again.  My heart is aching and my world feels ready to crumble.  I dunno... I am lost without him.

I love you Trevor. You will always be remembered and held dearly in my heart.  And we will be reunited again... in time.  Don't ever leave me again.

What a Weekend..

So I have a new appreciation for how hard it is to be pretty AND popular.  I know that is a hideous first line but it is leading somewhere.  Trust me.  I have worked as a model for Steamworks and other booths at street fairs before.  I have go-go danced for a decade, lugging around my suitcase of go-go wear through the most densely populated crowds imaginable.  I have had to maintain a cheery disposition when I was feeling awful, and as a trainer I worked in a high-visibility position in one of the biggest social scenes known to gay man... the Castro.  People know me, know of me, or have at least seen me around (whether they like it or not).  I worked for Gold's gym for 3 years and Active Nutririon for 4 (both Castro-based).  I am blessed to have the opportunites I have had that allowed me to get to know some wonderful people!  But here's the thing... with all of the appearances we had to make this past weekend, it was essentially taking every previous job I just mentioned and forced every grueling aspect of them  into one weekend!  Now don't get me wrong, it was so fun and flattering and exciting to be greeted by so many people who appreciate the performances (movie, dancing or otherwise) because I really do commit everything I've got to give the best show I  can.  And when I hear about how people enjoy what I do, it confirms that my efforts are valued and appreciated.  It honestly warms my heart.

Okay, but seriously, after trying to do all of that for 4 straight days it's just hard not to be completely drained of every ounce of positive energy in your body.  Each friend and fan deserves a smile and acknowledgement, so everyone gets a little piece of that energy... but by the end, I am zombified!  Real Bad came rolling around and after crowds, go-go dnacing and costumes and interviews, GAYVN's, 2 movie premiers, a tailgate party and another gogo gig saturday, and a full day at the fair greeeting hundreds and photographing, signing, draining of energy by the sun and heavy crowds and busting my ass to get to every event, I showed up for maybe an hour of Real Bad and had to leave.  Nothing was going to rejuvenate me from all the publicity work I did and my mood was a fair bit sour... so I just needed to go!

Before I started my adult film career, I would have said... I can do that! How lame that he is griping about adoration from fans and constant party appearances.... such a tough life!  Blah blah blah!  Until you walk a mile in another man's shoes... let's just say I learned a lesson on the work that goes into presenting a positive public persona.  It usually comes naturally... I just be myself.  But there is no downtime to re-connect with yourself and breathe.  You have no choice but to push on through!

Was it tough?  Yes.  Was I ready for it?  I thought I was.  Would I do it again?  In a heartbeat!  I am so lucky everyday I get to play this part of a pornstar.  One day, it will  be gone.... and as I said in the very beginning (before my first blog page disappeared), I know i will be sad when it is all over and I will feel a bit empty and sad when gay porn is done with me and I am a washed-up has-been... BUT I will be greatful for the moment in time that was mine and for that I would happily jump at the chance to do it all again.

Now if I was someone reading this, i would think I was retarded and a douche for suggesting the publicity tour was such tough work in comparison to other things in life.  Yes, starvation and homelessness, disease and death are significantly more taxing life challenges.  My point is that no matter what we do, when we really give it our all and do the best job we can, it can be hard to get into the flow of things without a lot of prior experience.  And since my whole mission for this blog is to me the outsider on the inside reporting back wbhat it's like to be a party of the adult film industry, i have to report the good, the bad, embarrassing and retarded.  Speaking of which, the psoriasis is healing finally!  So hopefully back in the studio next month.  woohyoo!  So for now, I wish bon voyage and adieu... to u and u and u.  I hope it was a good folsom for everyone, it was exciting to meet a number of you and put the physical person to the screennames and emails I normally see.  I enjoyed each person's company, i was not disappointed by a single person's sincerity and geniune support.  you r all awesome and keep me motivated to work hard.. even when it feels like i dont have much other reason to push through asnd improve on things.  I love you guys!! no i'm not high.... but it does sound kinda drunky ecstacy- speak... lol!  I have some pics somehere to add as well... sooon

MY DEAR FAIRVIEW SUE !!!

I have a hard time understanding that people give a rats ass about my porn career... besides me and my exhibitionist tendencies.  I had the pleasure of meeting (though only briefly) Fairview Sue (http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com).  She is a quaint, pretty, oddly confident and present in her demeanour and behavior.  She quietly demands your attention when she wants it and I immediately recognized and was even intimidated by her stare and I didn't even know why!!

I was quickly handed a card and a brief introduction /(that, to be honest, I couldn't even hear because of my bas ears and my distraction of trying to find my seat for the GAYVN awards show that was about to start).  I took her card and was on my way (and I did find my seat in time... in case you were wondering).

The next day at the fair I got to cross paths with Sue again, and again, I was distracted by fans and friends and bosses wanting my attention for one thing or another.  With my borderline ADD I could barely keep up.  But something about her just stood out to me and I knew she was someone very powerful... within herself and her spirit.  A strong sense of self and easily identifiable by me because all my life i have not been.

So I goto sues page tonight and suddenly find reviews, images, references that include me and my w2ork, and it was so flattering to read positive reviews and support from a person that has a purely unbiased opinion and has nothing to gain, but simply genuinely feels a certain way and thought me worthy enough to make the effort to write about at all... let alone in a positive light. 

And so to her, I return the favor.  My blogging is not nearly as well constructed or thought out but it is from the heart  Until next time, Fairview Sue!

See Sue's collected Craig Reynolds commentary and photo archives at:
http://fairviewsue.wordpress.com/category/craig-reynolds/

Spot Of Trouble

First off, thank god mercury is out of retrograde! I just learned about this but apparently it happens several times a year and each time the little things become obstacles in you path when normally they would be of little concern.  So here I am at home, no bootcamp, no training, my first ever psoriasis breakout is preventing me from filming until it clears, not seeing clients and unemployment said starting my own business was not grounds for support by edd and overturned my UI.  huh, so this is an interesting moment of my life.  There was only a brief time in my life where i didn't have a backup plan and no finances to rely on... and it was not a pretty time.  This is new and yet similar.  I am not reacting the way I could be by such a dire situation, yet my entire life could be brought down by a single breakout of a genetic skin disease brought on by stress.  Considering I was voted most stressed in my high school class, it is curious that this is my first breakout.

Well, whatever caused the eruption of hideous red spots on me, they need to disappear or it is all over.  I could not have prepared for such a common yet unknown mis-programming of the skin cells would lead me to financial ruin?!?!  Doctors, friends and strangers have all offered their experiences, opinions and remedies that worked for them... but nothing has really taken to my skin.  It's so stupid but so intrusive.  It is embarrassing, people think you are diseased, grossed out by you, afraid to catch it.  Not contagious and the horror you experience is assuredly 10x worse in my head!!  It is enabling my depression to set back in, losing motivation to do anything, don't want to have sex, don't even want to be seen!  it is uncomfortable, hurts, itches, annoys, messes with your self-image.  it took a good 30 years to finally start believing in myself and just when I thought i might be okay with who i am, here comes a test of patience and helplessness I was not ready for.

I don't know what will happen next but my careers are suddenly on hold until this clears. seriously, WTF!!!!

Major Asshole, Scene 3 Release on Hothouse.com

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ROAD TRIP!!!

Craig & Kyle- Round 3

Director and Office manager, Christian Owen, is driving us down to San Jose for thus weekend's pride festival.  Along with Christian and myself, we will be heading south with Kyle King and Sister Roma, the MC of the event.  The four of us make quite a motley crew but we are fun, dammit!  It should be fun with all of us there, hopefully we all survive the car ride down in such close quarters.  After Kyle and I do some autograph signing and picture taking, we are heading to The Watergarden to give the crowd a show!  Woohoo!  Now I get to goto a bath house and show off AND get paid!  That is like heaven!

So anyone who is interested in seeing any of the shenanigans we get ourselves into, make your way to the Watergarden booth at SJ Pride or to The Watergarden itself by 7pm when we start our show.

Russian River With Tony Aziz

RUSSIAN RIVER WITH TONY AZIZ

This is a video clip of Tony Aziz, myself and some good friends up in guerneville just hanging out in our room being silly. Nothing but love here.,.. but we enjoy razzing each other as well. This is all meant in good humor.

LUBE WRESTLING FINALS

LUBE WRESTLING FINALS

This is from Guerneville a few weeks ago. Setup by Paul Miller of Truck, Steve Cruz and Bruno Bond(Hard Friction), and faithful assistants, they pulled together a fun little weekend getaway before Dore Alley. It was lube wrestling porn stars all the way, baby! **Additional commentary provided by Tony Aziz.

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Hey Kids

I know there has not been much content lately yet so many events have taken place recently... how can that be?!?! Why aren't we being include?!

Well, it has been busy which is why have slacked in my blog updates but I am re-committed to keeping current. I have plenty of video blogging to share (see?! I kept you in mind this whole time!) and more details to fill you in on!

Okay, more to come (or cum... woink) asap!

LA Pride Video Clip #3

LA Pride #2

LA Pride Video Clips #1

LA Pride, 2010

It has been a while since I blogged, sorry about that. Since my return from Chicago everyone seems to want a piece… lol! It’s funny cuz I am like… why? But who am I to deny feeding the Craig-starved and famished?

Okay, I really should look into a print editor before I send these posts out.

Just touched down at LAX and headed to West Hollywood for my two-day stint at the Cybersocket booth for l.a. pride! This is my first time at la pride and working with Cybersocket to promote Hot House is awesome! I am stoked! These are the fun perks that come along with the job. I have to admit that this is where I really do relish in the star treatment and amusedly take in the environment that seems to value in my presence. Again, who am i?

I own my shit and I will happily admit that I enjoy a little pampering and special attention. Hell, I grew up as an only child. I need the attention! None of the pampering is exactly a necessity for me but I will happily accept it if it is being offered. You want me to hang out and sign autographs and take pictures with awesome fans and friends? AND you are going to cover my trip costs? Really? Ummmm, DONE! Momma didn’t raise no fool. Say yes, smile and nod, and slowly slip away to a little spot out-of-sight from anyone and then squeal in excitement at the reality that these things that usually happen for others but you never seem to be offered, just got offered to you! Now THAT is a run-on sentence if I have ever seen one...

The point I am trying to make is I am very lucky. The right place and time, coupled with knowing the right people and connecting yourself with good people is what gets people far in life. Many success stories have the luck factor involved somewhere. Circumstance is the x-factor that nobody can teach you or prepare you for. It just sort of happens for you. When that opportunity arises, you better pounce on it and ride it for all it’s worth cuz this sort of thing doesn’t come around often.

So I will be taking video footage of my weekend in l.a. and posting on here for you soon. Also, just an update, my website xxx.craigreynoldsxxx.com is up but apparently a little too amatuer (I would rather my friends be honest and tell me my website sucks than let me leave it up and embarrass myself) so it will soon receive yet another facelift.

Bootecamp is almost ready, I just need a confirmation from the location before I can start.

Movies galore are coming out, so keep looking at hothouse.com for the newest and latest.

I have a LIVE dungeon scene next Sunday, June 20th so stop in and see what crazy antics I come up with.

Sanctuary 1 has just released, which is a very HOT leather movie! This is me in my element, so check it out.

Lots more to update you on soon. That’s enough for now. Peace out.

Chicago, The Grabbys, & All That Jazz

Wow, that title just came to me and yet it is smart and clever... being in chicago... lol! Hey gang, it has been a whirlwind tour through the city of Chicago. Tonight was the Grabbys and yours truly posed as 1 of 4 trophy studs presentng the awards to the winners.

First off, I have to say I very much felt like an outsider. I suspected, but didn't realize to what depths, the trendy and cliquey la crowd very much runs in a pack together. I have never been trendy nor running with the popular crowd, coupled with social anxiety, really isolated me from everyone. It is elementary school all over again. I have the requirements to fit the mold but whatever the x-factor is that doesn't suit me, I seem to be involved with the group but not really a part of the group.

It sort of sucks that the whole clique mentality lingers, especially in this industry.... as I had assumed. I guess I am just spoiled by how well I am treated by my family at Hot House that I was disillusioned to think it would extend beyond the limit lines of san francisco.

I must say, however, that ms. Chi Chi LaRue has been such a sweetheart to me and I have to give her some big lovin' for being so kind. She was honestly one of the figures in porn I was afraid of and kept me from trying porn from many years. Her reputation preceeds her. But everytime I have met her now, she has been sweet, gentle and tame. Thank you, Chi Chi. I am not a very composed social creature so your kindness speaks volumes of your true character.

Anyway, The guys who run the show, Stacey and Mark, are great. They are working hard and dealing with a lot of egos! i try and keep low maintenance, which makes them appreciate me a little bit. OH! except I fell asleep just before I was supposed to get ready for the award show and set my alarm to vibrate instead of ring! so I almost missed the show but just at the last minute, Bruce Vilanch rolls up and offers me a ride in his limo! If you are going to show up late, show up in style and with a celebrity! I ended up on time and doing fine with my stage presenting. Oh by

the way, staning on stage for 4 hours is not very fun by the third hour. Hunger kicks in, knees start to ache, smiles turn to grimaces and sucking in the stomach is no longer a priority. The exposure, however, is great for a career. I guess nobody knows who the fuck I am, which is sort of a surprise being part of the hugely popular Hot House team, but again, the la clique runs the show. Being a northern california native, I was raised with a general disdain for southrn cal. living. Over-indulgent, lavish, high-,maintenance. I come from more simple living, supercuts hair cuts, basic cable tv only, camping as our family vacation. It is stereotyping at its worst and is unfair to lump everyone south and everyone north into 2 categories. I know each case is different but I will say that this did not help me break my biases. I was a bit sad but happy to still be representing SF as best I could. There was a highlight to my night, when Matthew Rush (are you serious? Matthew Rush came up to me?!?!?! Who am I?) came up to me and shook my hand and told me he was a fan of MINE! again, are you serious?!?! I was shocked and could barely reply. I geeked out and did m,yself a mis-justice by having nothing smart or even decipherable to say to him. Matthew, if you are out there, give me a call! I wan a second chance to reply with a much better response than.... duuhhhhh, and I'm flattered.... and 'drool.' Guys, I ned help! I am a social retard!!!

Okay, so we auctioned off our underwear at the end for HIV charity and my undies got $800. So that was good. Most of the other trophy guys were nice to me... except one who will remain nameless but you could guess by looking at each of our demeanors and easily spot who thinks he is hot shit... he maintains and encapsulated the negative stereotypes porn stars get a bad rap about. THis ego is so out of place... who cares who you are? you get fucked on camera and play the popularity game! BFD! What does that get you in the end? Not much that worth anything to your spirit and soul. so enjoy your egocentric life, just keep it from invading mine. I'll pass, thanks.

Geez, I don't mean to sound bitter... i guess some buttons of insecurity and irritation were pushed a bit and when I feel like an outsider for no real reason besides the fact I don't live in la and play the game, and I had to vent a liottle. This won't get me many new friends by writing this and I am sure it will cause more damage than good, but here is me being real about my feelings and speaking up the way I know how. There is a lot of good in the industry and it is obvious who tries to maintain the standards of maturity and professionalism within the industry. It is the egos of the momentary models that cascade an ugly cloud over the rest of us and focibly dissolve the bridge between audience and performer. The exact same bridge I am working hard to build and solidify. Their actions counteract my efforts and that sucks. They have a much larger team working for them and they are a machine that is hard to stop. I guess all I can do is keep trying. Keep my integrity, keep who I am real, not get caught up in the image and remember who I am... just another face in the crowd.

Message To The Rumor Spreaders

I need to preempt this by saying that this Blog posting is an emotional and raw response to some rumors I have heard spread lately. Comes with the territory of taking on a public job/career. I understand I need to build my filters but I am sensitive to this sort of rumor spreading because last year was so painful, coming close to suicidal thoughts and emotionally-crippling changes in my life I have yet to recover from... much of it fueled by an unsupportive community that got its jollys from dragging me and those involved through the mud and wringers for their entertainment and need to find self-worth through hurting others. The emotion that resides behind the words is targeted to those indioviuals. To the many friends and fans out there that will read this and is not directed towards, I want you to share in on understanding me, a bit of what I am dealing with and where I am coming from. I don't share this much with people, so I am giving you a little window to look a little deeper and see more of who I truly am inside.. not just the exterior that most people see. Once again, I am choosing not to edit this posting for anything more than spelling errors in an attempt to be less polished and planned and just be more real and raw! I am an aquarius, I analyze everything from every angle before I move. I want to move away from the pre-planned and tap more into spontaneity and the realness that comes from removing some of those filters.

Nobody has a complete picture of the hell I have gone through these past couple of years. There appear to be many people who think they do know, about me, about who I am, what I do, and have made their judgements about my character without ever walking up to my face and finding out first-hand whether or not the rumors they are using as their basis to judge me are true! I cannot tell you the crazy, outlandish rumors that have been flying around but people seem to have a much more grand idea of my life than the reality of it. Shoot, if I am going to be accused of deviant behavior, I should at least be able to enjoy it, right?! Instead I get blindsided by rumors and half-truths I had no idea were circulating and when approached about it, I am constantly amazed at who the sources of these rumors are. Typically, they tend to be people who project their own shame, guilt, or awkwardness on similar characteristics and embelish stories to give them attention and feel better that they have made someone feel worse.

Here's the punchline... I like who I am and I AM NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING MYSELF! I like me. I am happy (for the most part) with my life. I am not ashamed of who I am, what I do, or what choices I make. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only benefits and drawbacks to every action and decision I/we make. I have to deflect a barrage of critically-viewed societal norms, judgements and taboos everyday awhile try to maintain my own belief system and sustain the trust I have in myself that I am happy with who I am and the criticisms of others cannot and will not hold me down any longer. They will not choose what path is proper for me, they will not implore their guilt and shame upon my back anymore. They will not lead me down the path they see fit anymore! I am on my path, I do what works for me, you can keep your judgements to yourself and exclude me from the swill of grief and shame you marinade yourselves in by yourselves. You will not be taking me down with you!I like me. If you don't, ignore me, leave me alone, just stop hurting me for no good reason. Don't utter my name. Don't spread rumors about me. If you want to know something about me, just ask me directly. I am happy to talk to you. If not, don't say my name because you don't know me!

Those who gossip and gab about people should spend that time workng on their own issues. It is the things we are irritated by in others that we actyually find troublesome within ouraselves! We see it reflected back at us and it is ugly and we don't like it so they I have been hurt by those I trusted, by those I thought I could count on, by a community that does not support me just wants to tear me down for believing in myself and not following the conventional paths. Here you go. I am a nice guy. I am humble, considerate, funny, intelligent, smart, incredibly humble, a good friend, compassionate to a fault, sensitive, emotional, thoughtful, flawed, messy, out-of-control, crabby when I am tired, sarcastic, short-tempered, anxious, socially anxious, a creature of habit,sexual, horny, sad, mad, happy, melancholy.... .etc etc I graduated top 10% with honors and taking AP/IB college courses in high school. I graduated UC Santa Cruz with a bachelor's degree in Literature in 4 years. I love math and do it for fun. I love video games and TV. I am mature beyond my age, I am young at heart, I am rarely balanced, I am clumsy but love sports, I am incredibly analytical, I am insecure many times, I laugh when I can because there is nothing more healing or enjoyable, I try not to whine or complain too much, I love sex. I am all over the map and can also hyper-focus one one specific task. I am inconsistent, I learn lessons from my experiences, I recently discovered how to remain in the present and not spend my days dwelling on the future and past. I have a long ways to go before I am "perfect." I don't strive to be perfect. I am comfortable with my ownb pace of learning and understanding. I am not trying to match your standards as I would have the past 30 years of my life. I am opinionated and stubborn. I am very closely guarded about who I am but have a way to convince others they think they know me without actually having to let anyone inside my soul.

I have problems, they are outweighed by my perks. For whatever reason, most people enjoy my company. I am not egotistical, in fact it has taken 31 years to reach a point where I am somewhat satisfied with myself. I am no better or worse, than anybody else. I have good days and bad days. I try not to be a hypocrit and working on my integrity and follow-through because I tend to burn myself out before completion because I am not good at pacing myself. The point is, I am as simple and complex as anybody else. I hurt when you degrade me and my reputation. I own my shit. I am happy to adress my shit and anything else face-to-face. In the meantime, spend these moments of gossip working on and owning your own shit because it is obvious you have a lot more than you are willing to acknowledge at present time. Make your life better and focus on it. Your life is sad if my life is more entertaining to discusss than your own. Think about it, you want to talk, come and find me. I am not hard to find.

only 2 days left on jock movie scene auction!

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Behind-The-Scenes part 2... the aftermath

this is behind-the-scenes footage at Hot House's latest movie shoot. This was shot after Alex Freitas and I did our scene. Enjoy this exclusive footage

Army movie video bog at hot house set on 4/29/10 pt1

this is behind-the-scenes footage at Hot House's latest movie shoot. This was shot before Alex freitas and I did our scene. Part 2 is us after our scene. Enjoy this exclusive footage

Sanctuary The Movie... posting is copied from Roma's article on hot house blog page

Men Of Prey From Sanctuary I
Filed under: News — roma on April 28, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Stunning sets, over-the-top action, and stunning HD all contribute to the success of Steven Scarborough’s Sanctuary I. But lets face it – the reason Backroom Members are raving over our latest hit is the all-star, stunning cast. Feast your eyes on these men of prey and know that there are more where they came from. Find them all in the Sanctuary!

Hot House Exclusive Craig Reynolds not only leads this cast of muscular, hung sex pigs, he graces the cover! Here’s a head’s up… you can see Craig in person at the Grabbys in Chicago over Memorial Day Weekend. He has been hand-selected to be a Trophy Boy. (That makes Hot House the real winner because who needs a trophy? We’ve got Craig!)

BOOT-E-CAMP In 2 WEEKS

So it is unofficially official! Boot-E-Camp is almost set to run on Monday, May 3rd. We are scheduled to meet at Collingwood Park at 6:30pm. For you early risers, we will be meeting Tuesday at 6:30am. The Afternoon session is still a maybe, but if I do open an afternoon session up, it will be Wednesday, May 5th at 12:30pm. Sessions will range from $10-$20, depending on how many sessions are pre-purchased.

Each class is drop-in so there is no need to commit... however I expect your 110% while at camp. I will do everything in my power to make it fun, work you hard and leave you walking away from camp completely satisfied with your workout accomplishments.

For more information, you can email me at bootecampsf@gmail.com

Movie Scene Jocks For Sale

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GRABBY TROPHY BOY, 2010

That's right, guess who has been asked to be one of the trophy boys for this year's Grabby Awards?!?!? And I am still in disbelief... I mean really, who am I? I don't consider myself one of those people you see from afar who gets offered these kinds opportunities.

I have been very fotunate in the opportunities given to me (from gogo dancing at premier clubs and parties to back-up dancer for Thea Austin, Hot House model, etc etc). The thing is I am so humble by nature and unassuming that I don't walk around thinking I am "somebody" or at all socially relevent because I was in a movie or danced for that club. Sure it is a nice stroke to the ego and I will joke about it sometimes, but only because I am soooooo not an egomaniac that I can speak from a sarcastic point of view without being misunderstood as narcisisstic. No really!

I am a big dork. I grew up a shy, nerdy, semi-awkward kid but sought the approval of everyone in order to feel accepted. I am the same big dork, socially awkward and anxious, so far from 'cool' it is painful how dorky I really am. So to have an honor like this bestowed upon me is surreal, to say the least. It is a prestigious role and everyone I have told recognizes the opportunity this affords me. Because next year, I plan to be on the other side of the award, accepting it for the numerous awards Iwill be nominated for... best top, best bottom, best director, best studio... oh yeah! Next year I will get nominated for ALL of those roles! Okay, maybe I am embelishing a little.

Anyway, so keep an eye out for me in Chicago on IML weekend. We are scheduled for some meet & greet events, the GRABBYs (obviously), and just about everyhere you want to be. We are like VISA... anyone get that? Their old advertising slogan? Come on, anyone?

No good porn news... so in other news...

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Getting Closer to Boot-E-Camp Launch!!!

Hey crew, this is a bit off topic from porn but I just want to put it out there that we are inching ever-closer to the debut of my new bootcamp! Appropriately named (I think), who better to toast those buns and make them round and plump so they can service the fine grade A meat that deserves such a high-quality bun... adn vice versa! I think I am hungry and horny....

Anyway, this camp will be fun but it is going to work-you-out! Think World Strong Man Competition meets college athletics, integrated with a little basic training for Armed Forces and rounded out with some schoolyard recess fun and activity. The website, flyers, coupons and ads will soon be flooding your way so gear up and get ready to join me on the field!

p.s.

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Stranded!!!

I was stuck in the middle of Ghettosville for 5 hours today... how awesome is that?!?!? I had a lot of time, however, to think about porn and how much I love it. Having gone from almost quitting because of how difficult the shoots were, to fully enjoying and already saddened at the thought of the short life span of a porn career, I really have come full circle. I love my job! It is a lot of work, reputation, upkeep, social networking and being able to perform at the drop of a dime... but with all of the challenges aside, I am happy happy happy!

Part of that reason is because of my guardian angel (one of several) Ron Hull. His suicide was a traumatic moment in my life that was a catalyst for the sudden change in paths my life made about 2 years ago. The last year was the worst of my life.... BUT it taught me so much about how to live life and do for myself and to take a chance without pre-planning. It lead me to take a chance on trying the porn industry and put aside other peoples' opinions and just listen to my own voice. I stopped trying to please others, stopped concerning myself with what others will think of me, took hold of making choices for myself for the first time in my life and decided this is what I need to do.

Let me tell you, the liberation I have felt from FINALLY taking control of myself and my path in life was exhilarating, to say the least. The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders after 30 years. I am still a stress-case, I still over-analyze, I still consider the repercussions and benefits of the choices I make, but now I do it for me and the concept turned into practice makes so much more sense. We can understand concepts and ideas and theories but until it is put into practice we have not truly mastered or even grasped the true meaning behind the words. I get it now... it is not about selfishness or about ignoring the needs of others. I used to put everyone else's needs before my own. Then I was advised, repeatedly, to take care of myself first otherwise you will be of no use to anyone else. SO I took care of my needs and sort of dis-associated from the people I love because I was absent of availability and of giving to them. So I essentially went from 1 extreme to the other without truly grasping the meaning of the advice. When I learned to finally let go of everyone else's views of myself and of the world and simply listened to my own heart and head, I realized that I do have a voice, that I do want to do things for me instead of following the illusion of a path chosen for me by a society intent upon forcing the "American Dream" upon us as the ultimate goal in life and those that do not achieve it are failures. That what I want is not necessarily what others want, especially in a straight-based culture that does not understand gay culture. I know what I want and I went out and got it. It may not be what others would want for me... but that doesn't matter anymore... it is what I want! And now that I have figured out what I want for myself and not struggling internally to find that answer of what do I want out of life, I can determine the time I need for myself to achieve my goals, and what time I can make available for those that I love so we can share and do for each other and benefit from a relationship where both parties are gaining from it and I can be present for them without sacrificing myself or my needs to do it.
Okay, so there is always a silver lining to every situation.. even a flat tire in Ghettosville. Time to reflect and ponder and essentially meditate to the mind and soul some good.

Also, I chose not to edit, revise or even re-read this message before posting because I want it as raw and unfiltered as possible to capture the train of thought I had in the moment. Having been a literature major and a part-time writer/poet, this form of expression is just one of many I enjoy toying with just to see what sort of impact it might have in engaging the reader and translating my thoughts to them as clearly and impactful as possible.

SO MUCH TO SAY, SO LITTLE SPACE TO WRITE...

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(Archive from 2/27/10) Wednesday Night LIVE a success while on Friday, go-go dancers face off against burlesque performers at Versus...

This week was another busy week which started off with my very first solo scene! I performed on Hot House Backroom LIVE... and they are not kidding. If you have an accident, it's on film. If you are nervous and stutter and at a loss for words or direction, too bad. There is no CUT!

Anyone who knows me can easily confirm my notable degree of anxiety and social anxiety. I over-process and get stuck in my head. It feeds on itself til I manifest physical reactions to it. I am doing better but far from ideal when you are getting down and dirty with every inch of you exposed and being recorded to be mass-produced and watched by people all over the world... aand you have to end with a cum shot. So the pressure is always on to perform and bring your A game. I thought about what the crew would think about me if I delayed wrap of a shoot because I couldn't get off. That would almost prevent me from getting off! AAAHHH!

Anyway, I started the show nervous and kind of throwing my limbs around to fill up space (which makes no sense), no direction for what I want to bring to the show and five minutes to pull it together. Spontaneity is not a forte of mine. I need to think and plan out each step before proceeding. But I jumped in, slipped a little, but then the switch flipped and I was shoving every toy they could find by the end of the show. I even got my cum shot! Granted, we went over by 5 minutes and I worked every fiber of my being to do it... but it was a big victory for me. Ii was happy, the studio was happy... happy happy happy.

Soon friday, after an emotionally-draining day of work and events, I was booked to dance at the Lookout for Jeff Johnson's new Friday night party called Versus. It is a cool concept that

It's Official! BOOT-Y CAMP is coming...

I have submitted my resignation at Gold's Gym in order to pursue a new business venture. Boot-y camp is similar in style to any armed services boot camp... but way more fun! It is full body, functional, strength and endurance training all wrapped into one action-packed hour. I love to train this way and now I will have the space and control to do it my way!!! There are referral programs to earn members free sessions, cost is way cheaper than personal training costs, you can do it with friends, all you have to do is show up and be ready to work!
I am excited and I know y'all will enjoy it. Specifics to be released SOON! This will be up and running within a month.

BEHIND THE SCENES

I was fortunate enough to get the permission from the man himself (Steven Scarborough) to take a little footage behind the scenes of our latest movie due out later this year. I was partnered with Tyler Saint and the greatest crew I know to produce another HOTHOTHOT movie the way Hot House knows how to do. Paying attention to detail and scrutinizing how best to satisfy our fans, we spent the day filming, adjusting, and busting our balls to make it all look good! That being said, we don't want to lose the intimacy and genuine energy between the models, so we are changing it up and leaving more of the real action in... flaws and all. For example, Tyler fucks me so hard I fall to the floor and kiss his boots in gratitude and appreciation... that was not acting for the camera... that was just a real moment in time and it looks hot!

We all enjoy the amateur stuff because it is real... well Steven (our valiant leader) recognizes this and is working to deconstruct the traditional porn formula and get back to the basics. I admire his ability to adapt and change with the times and recognize what the people want. Likewise, I am not a very good actor, so what you see on camera is pretty much what you get in real life (minus the extra dialogue I am forced to come up with to keep the audial interest of the audience). I cannot turn my performer switch on and off... it is all completely integrated. So this new style and way of thinking suits me well and I am excited that I could potentially help revolutionize the porn industry by making these changes in format. It is nothing new and I am only a small piece of the puzzle, but it is exciting to be a fan and a performer and witnessing the merge of the two worlds to find common ground that satisfies everyone!

So check out the clips. I was able to show Taylor, Paul and Richard (our lighting, camera and set guys), Joe (our on-set still image photographer on-set) and myself with a little goofy commentary. This is just a little glimpse into a world that mystifies many so you can see what it is truly like to see on-set for filming. Oh, and as a side note to those that do not know me, I have major social anxiety and you will notice my stutters and nerves a bit when I talk. Hopefully you will endearing, not annoying. Again, just keeping it real.

VERSION 2.0, PAGE 1

So in my attempt to understand all things electronic and Internet-connected, I managed to lose my first blog page. so we will start over with a new blog! I will start back as far as I can recall last leaving off and move on from there.

A couple weeks ago, I was featured on hot house backroom live, where I did a pretty hot solo dildo show! almost took the fisting toy, got both heads of the double-headed dildo in, plus various other toys and tricks. It became an instructional how-to video for the amatuer toy players out there. I get a thrill from exposing people to new sexual experiences and liberating them. The moment you see that expression of bewilderment and pleasure mixed with confusion is matched by non other. I see the light switch flip on and have started another person down the road of sexual discovery!

Anyone interested in seeing the archive of my show or any Hot House live show can go here.

I also moved a couple weeks ago, which has been an unexpected (and time-consuming) project to deal with. It has taken me away from my current website and blog projects, but I am back on track and hoping to keep you in the loop on a regular basis.

MISSION STATEMENT

I mentioned this previously in my first blog version but several people keep asking about it so I should re-address what I am Other than simply sharing my views and opinion, like lmillions of others are doing, I want to try and bring a unique element to my blog and allow porn fans get a backstage look in on what life is like on the inside of the industry. Many are curious, even mystified, and I am happy to remove the blinders and answer the questions so that the fans can feel more informed about what they watch and gives the industry more human qualities and extinguish some falsities improperly associated with porn production. For example, I was pleasantly surprised by the professional atmosphere at the studios... everyone is nice an funny and easy to get along with. Granted, it deals with sex and every business has its flaws, but everyone isn't drugged out and fucking freely across the floor. We are all there for a job, to work hard and produce good qualitymovies that satisfy the exhibitionist inside.

I felt the industry was an untouchable force, and when I received a golden ticket to the magic island, I quickly realized the assumptions I made, both good and bad, were essentially absent. Granted a repuation stems from somewhere, but the larger studios really do try to maintain a professional atmosphere because they are an easy target, which is all the more reason to keep their noses clean.

Anyway, aside from the political and social commentary I could go on about, that isn't hot, it isn't why I got into porn, I left my soapbox at home, and I think my fans would be much more interested in pictures and movies... so I will try and include a fair amount. my website... http://craigreynoldsxxx.net/ is a better choice for finding images and links to new movies. In the meantime, here are couple